Second Date

   "Alright, I tried, but this isn't going to work," she said.
   He put his fork down.
   "What?"
   "Look, you're a nice guy and all....but the sex just wasn't good."
   "Excuse me?"
   "The other night.  It was awful."
   "C'mon, it was the first go, and I was nervous.  You could at least gimme another chance."
   She pursed her lips for a moment.
   "Ever try octopus?"
   "Yeah....once."
   "Did you try it a second time?"
   "God no, it was disgusting."
   "Exactly."

Chet Chat

  Bill sat down at his desk, and could feel Chet staring at him.  He really didn't want to chat this early on a Monday. Talking to Chet was always awkward.  Every time, it felt like the process devolved until they both sounded like twelfth-century land owners.
   "Hey there, Chet.  Did you have a good weekend?"
   "I did.  I hope your weekend was good as well."
   "It was.  I'm glad your weekend was good."
   "Indeed.  Your good weekend fills me with joy as well."
   "Ah ha, your joy makes me feel alive with merriment."
   "Huzzah!  Good fortune to you and your family!"
   Bill sighed and placed his head on the desk.

Head Case

   There was the quick swoosh of the guillotine blade, and then the whole world began to spin and tumble.  It was over almost as soon as it started, and he found himself looking up at the crowd.  Some faces were horrified, some were grief stricken, and just as many wore sickly grins of uncompromising pleasure.  The scene froze and got fuzzy, making the world seem like a painting.  He had an opportunity to scan the crowd one last time before everything was gone.

Memories

   The attic door creaked loudly.  No one had been up here since the accident.  She flicked on the soft yellow light, and began walking slowly.  To her left was her mother's wedding dress, the one she hoped her daughter would wear on her wedding day.  On her right, the old rocking chair where Grandpa Frederick would read them stories.  But the real prize, indeed the reason she came up here, sat on a dusty shelf next to the dartboard.  Although it sat only five feet in front of her, she couldn't bring herself to touch it, and she started to cry.

Escape?

   The space station airlock finally closed, and Sampson tore his helmet off.  He gulped in the air hungrily.  He'd been floating around out there for far too long, and the extra exertion from trying to escape those....things, had depleted his oxygen reserves.  He scrambled to get out of his space suit, the material sticking to his sweaty skin.  Halfway undressed, he tripped, fell to the station floor, and vomited.  What even were those things?
   A faint skittering sound came from the far wall behind him and he froze, eyes wide.
   Oh God, they were in here with him.

First Date

   Edamame?  What the hell was that anyway?  Soybeans, or some crap?  Whatever.  They looked like peas, and he hated peas, so there was no way that crap was going in his mouth.
   "Are you not having a good time?"
   He looked up at the girl across the table.  Her face was puzzled and concerned.  She really was beautiful, with her dark hair and big brown eyes.  But he was distracted, and couldn't focus on the moment.  His thoughts kept drifting to the vegetables on his plate, or what he was going to do about the person currently stuffed in his trunk.

Emergency

  "Oh my God, Bill, he's not moving."
  "I know, honey."
  "Seriously Bill, he's not breathing."
  "I'm aware, honey."
  "Oh no!  I can't find a pulse!  Call 911 Bill."
  "I'm not going to do that."
  "Why not!?  You monster!"
  "He's a wax figure, darling."

Good hell, Maureen was stupid.

The Road

   The road led to nowhere.  He knew that already.  Didn't matter.  In fact, it was somehow appropriate, poetic even.
   When the asphalt gave way to gravel, he eased the car to a stop.  Reaching into the back seat, he grabbed the gun.  Maybe that little prick Reynolds wouldn't be so quick to babble all that bullshit about fate and destiny if he had a shotgun in his face.
   He stepped out into the cool summer evening and started walking.  He didn't even bother closing the door.

Twenty Years

   Twenty years ago, the chest had been locked.  Twenty years ago, the key had been lost.  Now, after two long decades, they had been reunited.  The tension and excitement in the room was thick.  All eyes were on Janey, filled with dancing excitement of the unknown.  Her hand trembled as she fitted the key in the lock, and opened the chest.
   "Ugh.  Stale Crackerjacks?!  Gross."

Shrooms

   Jim and Eric were watching Billy very carefully as he sat on the bed.
   "I think he ate too many mushrooms."
   "Nonsense!" Billy exclaimed.  "Now get out of your boat and on with the pageant.  The credit card bills are due and Snuffy the Giraffe waits for no man!"
   "Whew," said Eric. "I was worried there for a moment."

Downstairs

  The third stair creaked, just as it had done for years.  It sounded deeper, darker, this time.  A few more steps and there was another sound, that of broken glass.  The bulb had been shattered.  No matter, he could smell them now: dank, wet, and sweaty.  He stepped further down, and embraced the darkness. 

The Snow

   The snow was deeper now, reaching all the way to his knee when he took a step.  Progress was slow, but steady.  His rations were dwindling, but there was still time.  There was always time.
   A call from above drew his attention, and he looked up to see the eagle gliding along the cliffs.  He was still going in the right direction. 
   Another noise came from behind him, this time, the low growl of a wolf.  Good.  Battle would warm him.

Overreaction

   "There's only twelve in this dozen."
   "Yeah.....that's a dozen...."
   "But you're a baker!!!"
   Rodney spun around and kicked over a display of perfectly lovely croissants and assorted loaves.
   "Good luck with your breeaaaads."  He said and spit on the ground.

Car Crash

Both legs were broken, that was for sure, but she could barely feel them.  Her head was spinning.  A truck?  A van?  What did it matter?  The radio was still working, strange as that was, but she couldn't identify the song.  Glass was everywhere, and it smelled like burnt rubber and blood.  Her daughter started to cry from the back seat, and she knew everything would be okay.

Benny the Dragon

Benny the Dragon was having a terrible week.  That day at the office, Oscar the Ogre has been quite rude about his new sweater, even though Benny had thought it was rather fashionable.  But then he remembered he had some jelly beans, and he felt a little better.  He munched on them while using his fire breath to burn a picture of stupid Oscar to ashes.

Monkey

Once upon a time, there was a monkey with a coconut, a coconut he desperately wanted to eat.  So he smashed it against a rock, breaking it open and revealing the sweet, sweet milk and coconut meat inside.  He started eating it, and boy howdy, it was good.